and i start to regret it.

i think i'm living among the clouds now.

cuz i cant act as if nothing's happened.

i think he grew tired of it gradually.
and i grew to dislike everything slowly.

i walked up to him and asked him: do you have a moment to spare?
he said: wait a while...
after waiting for a bit, i just walked away.

i walked up to him again after some time, and asked him the same question.
this time, i also asked: are you busy?
he said: yes, very busy.
after that, he was sorting his stuff and i walked away again.
i thought: i don't have to say this. it doesn't really matter i guess.

so i walked away, without telling him that i am missing him.

can i say i'm tired too?
guess everyone is.
or maybe both of us are.
that's why maybe both of us need a break from each other.
i'm not saying i'm tired of him. but ya, u nv rly will know how the other party feels.

i feel fucked up at work too.
with people yelling here and there, people like jessie jumping to BIG and WRONG conclusions and scolding you for no apparent reason - NO, she doesnt apologize at all. and she's fabulously stupid for having no reasons to get loud with others at all. excellent. excellently disgusting shit.

great example of how stupid she is:
- she asks how does she sees the technical feedbacks of the team this month, and she kept asking where is it. (supposed to be in MS access, but she kept asking how come nv show her - it was nv a thing to show her, cuz she has access, and she can jolly well open the program and check it out herself. it has to be that way.) so i was like telling her 'now only left access, no more excel.'
she: den how come nv show to me?
after explaining abit and she demanding more, i told her: jessie, can you open up access and check it urself?
den she began to say : okie. den see how 1st. im busy.
mi: okie.
*****
out of goodwill, i decided to help her compile the feedback from access and email it to her.
so i did, and she replied, saying she wants the solutions as well.
like wtf?
o pls. i'm not obliged to even help email to her you know that?
it was purely out of GOODWILL and RESPECT for an elderly lady/senior colleague like her that i decided to just help compile. the rest, if she rly wants to know, go and check it out herself la! KNS!
o ya. forgot to mention, not even a word of thanks from her.
i hope no matter what she does from now on, nobody thanks her at all. seriously. just to let her know how it feels. (come to think abt it, she wouldnt know, cuz she doesn't rly help ppl ard.)

-------------------------------
back to topic.
i don't know how long will the break be.
but i hope everything will be back to normal.
and when i say normal, i mean back to 26th sept. :)

maybe i should change my job or sth like that.
it seems pointless anyway.

and i hate doing meaningless stuff.
no challenges, no achievements, no encouraging people around, only those who push you down.

okie, maybe my reporting officer's not bad. at least she tries to encourage me.

other than that, really, forget it.

okie, maybe there's a fair few who's nice at work. FEW.
and they're people like Jia Le, Tien Siang, Mdm Ong, Mdm Tan and a few more of the temps. just a few more.
the rest of the people are just political bitches, be it males or females.
not that the gender matters anyway, cuz it's like you have to face them everyday.
all of us just put on a smile when we see each other. no choice, may that be.

like some fair few, will 'sister! why you always see me never say hello to me?!'
den i'll be like: u also never say hello to me, u like so busy le. dont disturb you. / i busy running here n there leh..

if i dont say hello to you, it just means i cant be bothered to.
if i dont smile at you, it means you are not that friendly towards me too. so why should i?
everything on top or else it's cuz i'm purely busy and just cant be bothered with you.
UNLESS your name is Jia Le, Clement or SK.

yeah. i'm just that kind of person. i don't get friendly with people as long as they don't appeal to me.
i'm very straightforward, so once someone pisses me off, they dont really get away with it without my sarcasm too.
so ya, don't bitch ard with me! :)

-----------------

just got 'maligned' by one of the senior staff again. i call her mk.
always doing f-up things. blaming others ard her for this and that.
how come she doesnt think: what will happen if all these people aren't around and not helping her?
bet she doesn't know wtf is teamwork.
bet she doesn't use much of her brains now. really.
one fine day, i'll shoot back at her til she really shuts the fuck up. __